Almost Is Never Enough
by becomeafan
Summary: We can deny it as much as we want, but in time our feelings will show. Cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up. The truth is, everyone knows.


I do not own Bleach or the song, "Almost Is Never Enough" by Ariana Grande and Nathan Sykes.

* * *

Closing her bedroom door, she let out a soft sigh. She knew her friends meant well but it was eating her up. Laughing bitterly, she began to reprimand herself. There was no turning back. She has nowhere to go but forward. Everything has changed. They changed. They didn't even have a chance to begin with.

 _Did we?_

Changing out of her uniform, she went to the bathroom and took a warm bath to ease her stress. Every day, she had to deal with _the looks_ people kept on giving her. At first she has mistaken their looks of pity on her for the loss of her beloved captain. Ukitake Jushiro was like a father to her. He gave her another family outside of the Kuchiki home, and for that she felt immensely grateful.

But overtime, she realized that something felt different. It has been long after the war and his death, and she still received the same gaze, and it was more than just pity that she saw in their eyes. There were also sympathy and disappointment. Soon, she decided to brush them off.

It was only when one of her closest friends, Matsumoto Rangiku slipped her tongue one drunken evening and exclaimed the reason for the stares and what she has been denying to herself for years.

 _"You love Ichigo!"_

Breathing heavily, she slid further down unto the water until it reached her chin, and closed her eyes. The warm water felt like a comforting embrace, one that she could only wish to have been done by certain person.

Those three words said by Matsumoto hit her like a ton of bricks. She was so stunned by them that she looked like an awkward statue standing amidst the noisy and aww-ing crowd of Shinigamis. Everywhere she looked, Rukia saw people nodding their heads in agreement or drunkenly shouting out advices to her. Her violet eyes stopped however at the sight of her childhood friend who was smiling somberly at her. The redhead raised his glass of sake to her direction before downing it.

Once she felt fresh tears well up her eyes, she fled the scene. How could she be so blind? No. The real question was, how could she have been so stupid? While she was running, images of a certain orange haired shinigami flashed in her mind. His stupid smile, his stupid voice, his stupid closet, his stupid hair, his stupid remarks, his stupid jokes- she saw everything. And then suddenly, everything made clicked.

Instead of rushing home to seek solace in her room, Rukia found herself in one of her favorite escapes. She stood quietly by his grave before kneeling down to softly trace the carving of his name on the tombstone. Kaien Shiba has always been her safety net. Whenever she has a problem, he's the first person who would know. That night, she cried in front of him for the first time.

 _I'd like to say we gave it a try_

 _I'd like to blame it all on life_

 _Maybe we just weren't right_

 _But that's a lie, that's a lie_

After the war, soul society has tried its hardest to get back on its feet. Everyone has suffered a great loss and every day has been tough. Ichigo and the others decided to stay in order to lend a helping hand in rebuilding Seireitei. Physical wounds were healed easily, especially through the help of Inoue Orihime. Their hearts however, lost a piece for every friend, family, and colleague that was killed.

After learning about the death of her captain, Rukia was almost inconsolable. She had not cried since hearing the news but her eyes lost their light. For weeks, she refused to talk to anyone and avoided everyone. Renji tried to reach out to her but she did not let him in. The captain of the 6th division grew more worried for her but knew that there was only one person who could help her out.

He called on Ichigo Kurosaki.

Since that fateful night where he first saw the young man, there was no mistaking the look Byakuya saw in his unyielding eyes. Those were the same eyes he possessed when he refused to let his wife, Hisana, give up on her life. Byakuya saw so much of himself through the substitute shinigami that he knew that no matter what happens, his sister would be saved.

Before he could finish telling Ichigo what to do, the boy quickly left muttering curses and words like "that stupid midget" under his breath. The captain smiled. He would not say it out loud but he would be forever indebted to Kurosaki Ichigo for saving Rukia countless of times.

Between the screaming match and exchange of insults, Rukia recalled laughing and shaking her head at Ichigo's attempt of knocking some sense out of her. The moment she felt his reiatsu hastily approaching her, Rukia knew that she would be getting an earful for her depressed state. Truthfully, she did not want to bottle everything up inside her. She tried to cry out her grief but she was stuck on a state of shock for a few weeks that after everything came crashing down on her she slowly began to accept it. She only refused to be comforted and consoled by anyone, especially her friends since she hated getting pitied.

But apparently, a certain carrot-top took it the wrong way and on a whole new different level altogether and decided to teach her lesson by telling (or more like shouting at) her to stop being a stupid midget and start moving on because she is not only worrying the people around but also Ukitake.

She could have been touched by this except for the fact that he took another jab at her height and called her stupid.

This was their normal though. They don't do polite. Somehow, whenever they try to have a normal conversation with one another, they ended up fighting and calling each other names. No one gets offended however, because this was their thing. They have a pretty complex relationship that only the two of them can understand.

 _And we can deny it as much as we want_

 _But in time our feelings will show_

 _Cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up_

 _The truth is, everyone knows_

Before Ichigo met Rukia, he didn't truly understand what was going on around him. He could see, talk, and help spirits he meets on his way home. He usually gets in trouble with some pricks from school after seeing him talk to thin air but he didn't give a shit. What do they know? All that mattered to him was helping out the poor souls of crying children looking for their parents and doesn't know they're dead.

Even though he had some friends like Chad and Inoue, they wouldn't be able to understand, so he never told anyone. But after meeting her, everything changed. Everything started to make sense.

The first time he saw her she was bleeding profusely, and was on the verge of fainting. He was so shocked by what happened that he couldn't bring himself to move. How could such a small person have so much strength to face a huge ass monster? Not only that, she willingly risked her life to save a complete stranger from getting killed.

He guessed it was from that moment that his whole world has turned upside down.

Rukia barged into his life pointing and demanding him to help her out. He never really had a choice to begin with. Throughout their relationship it has always worked that way. What Rukia says was basically law in his life.

"You're going to be my substitute."

"Get your shit together and apologize!"

"Stop blaming yourself."

If it weren't for Rukia, he was sure he would have fallen to depression a couple of times. There was just something about the way she speaks to him, like she can see right through the very core of his soul. When her brother and Renji took her away to be executed, all he could think of was saving her. She can't leave him. He won't let her.

After everything that they have been through, she couldn't just walk out of his life.

When he started training with Urahara, Ichigo didn't let his attention focus on anything else. She was his priority, his only priority. Seeing her crying face telling him to just stay put and keep himself alive made his blood boil. How could she even think that he would just be idle? He owed her his life, his friends' lives and his family's.

Funny how he thought this was the only reason why he was so desperate to save her life.

Urahara thought differently. The candy shop owner knew that his new apprentice was deeply in love with the shinigami. This was main reason why decided to help poor man. Ichigo doesn't know it but every time Rukia's name was mentioned or they were getting closer to the end of their training, he would get this spark in his brown eyes.

The former 12th division captain truly believed that those two would end up together, and he was always surprised to see Ichigo come back alone after visiting the other world.

It wasn't just Urahara however.

Kon has always been vocal about his feelings (no matter how lewd they may be) for Rukia. It pissed him off to no end. Whenever the damn stuffed animal would vividly describe the outline of her body, Ichigo would feel his neck and face flame up. This leads to Kon teasing him mercilessly about crushing on the said girl.

Ichigo would never admit out loud but he did find Rukia attractive. She's not as striking as Inoue or Rangiku but, she was definitely a head-turner. There is just something so alluring about her deep violet eyes that sometimes, he finds it difficult to look away.

She was also a mystery. They have been roommates and spent so much time together but it was only during the fight with Aizen that he truly knew who Rukia was.

And even now, there are still a few things he would like to know about her.

 _Almost, almost is never enough_

 _So close to being in love_

 _If I would have known that you wanted me_

 _The way I wanted you_

 _Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart_

 _But right here in each others arms_

 _And we almost, we almost knew what love was_

 _But almost is never enough_

Ishida noticed it first. When he saw the both of them in school together, he saw a different side of Ichigo. Granted, they were not close before the whole ordeal happened but he has known the boy since childhood. It was the first time Ishida saw Ichigo spend so much time with a girl. He also took note of the fact that the two have a very strange but unique relationship. Being an observant person, he knew that Inoue Orihime recognized it too.

He empathized with the girl since it was painfully obvious that she have been in love with the carrot-top for a very long time. Everyone in school knew this except for the idiot.

Soon enough, he became acquainted with the dark-haired shinigami and was thoroughly amused by how similar she is with Ichigo. They were both loud, aggressive, and fierce. But at the same time, they are both willing to sacrifice their life for the people around them.

After the war, the group decided to stay in Soul Society to help the shinigamis get their lives back together. Inoue ultimately facilitated the 4th division and tirelessly healed the injured. Ishida and Chad assisted in looking for survivors and reconstruction.

Ichigo on the other end, focused all his attention on thing... Rukia.

It annoyed her to no end actually since Ichigo refused to leave her side until he was positive that she back to her old self. She answered him back with the same vigor as before but he knew better. She was trying to be strong as to not worry the others. Ichigo saw right through her facade nonetheless, and he was persistent on letting Rukia know that she can depend on him when it comes to her problems.

He wanted her to know that she can lean on him. That he won't be going anywhere unless she tells him otherwise.

 _If I could change the world overnight_

 _There'd be no such thing as goodbye_

 _You'd be standing right where you were_

 _And we'd get the chance we deserve, oh_

After that fateful night of drunken mishaps (mostly on Rangiku's part), Rukia felt the awkwardness in the air as she joined her friends for lunch the next day. Momo, Nanao, and Nemu almost mauled Matsumoto once she arrived to their table.

"Ugh, my head hurts like hell," the blonde moaned.

Snorting, Nanao sipped on her tea after shaking her head, "You should've seen yourself last night. You were lucky Hitsugaya-taicho is on a mission to the real world or you would've gotten your ass frostbitten."

"Argh, this will be the last time I'm letting Shuhei and Kira get me to play that stupid drinking game! It's their fault!" Matsumoto exclaimed, clutching her aching head on the table.

Sighing, Momo said, "He's going to be upset once he learns about this."

Squinting, Matsumoto leaned closer to Momo and replied, "Girls before dicks, Momo, girls before dicks. Don't go telling taicho about this or else."

Intrigued, Nanao asked, "Oh? What are you gonna do to her? Hitsugaya-taicho would send you to the next life if you even tried to take a strand of hair from his girlfriend's head."

"Must be nice..." Nemu murmured.

"Damn right it is! Look at her! She's glowing from too much sex," Matsumoto laughed.

Blushing furiously, Momo cried, "Stop saying that! It's embarrassing!" She then covered her face with both hands.

Shrugging, the 10th division vice-captain argued, "At least you even have a boyfriend. Some of us aren't that lucky," her eyes flickering to Rukia who was walking towards them.

"Hey," she greeted.

All three girls turned quiet. After the ruckus Rangiku made the night before, they weren't sure how to talk to Rukia without managing to bring that up. Truthfully, everyone in Seireitei expected those two to be together. Not just because of their strong relationship, but simply because... they look good together.

Even Hitsugaya Toushiro mentioned it once to Momo. Her boyfriend has always been observant. He had worked together with the pair countless of times before and has seen how well they function as one. They made up a pretty good team.

Although Momo has only seen the substitute shinigami a handful of times, she could also see the connection between him and the 13th division vice-captain. It was similar to what she and Toushiro has, maybe even stronger.

Matsumoto was the first to break the silence, "Halloo!"

Rukia shook her head and smiled. Matsumoto Rangiku is the only woman she knows who could handle thrice as much liquor as their male friends. The woman was a living legend.

Sitting down, she proceeded to open her bento and heard Nanao ask, "Are you okay?"

Pausing, she conjured up another smile before nodding her head, "Yeah, I'm not hung-over unlike most people here."

Unconvinced, Nanao decided to let the matter go. If she's not comfortable talking about it, they won't. Matsumoto on the other hand...

"Listen, Rukia, about what I said last night-"

Shit.

Fuck.

Abort mission!

ABORT MISSION!

Releasing a breath, Rukia turned to the blonde and said, "It's fine."

Snapping her mouth shut, Rangiku looked at the other three women. If she weren't in this awkward situation right now she would have laughed at their wide-eyed faces.

Looking back at Rukia, she started, "I just want to apolo-"

"It's fine, really," the dark-haired girl interrupted.

"Rukia..." Momo uttered.

"Seriously. I'm fine. It's kind of funny actually, how something so simple escaped me," Rukia said softly.

Reaching out to clutch her hand, Nemu began, "You can always talk to us if you need to."

The rest nodded in agreement.

Tears then began to well up her eyes, and Rukia replied, "Thank you."

 _Try to deny it as much as you want_

 _But in time our feelings will show_

 _Cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up_

 _The truth is everyone knows_

Taking up their offer to talk, Rukia felt the heavy weight on her shoulders lifted. It felt really good to open up to someone about your problems. Momo and Rangiku related to her the most since they had their own experiences of heartbreaks.

After three months of no longer thinking and brooding about her feelings for Ichigo, the heavens decided to play with her.

She was rushing towards the Senkaimon after receiving a report that the 10th division captain along with his subordinates were arriving heavily injured. Momo has been extremely worried since it was rare for the 10th division captain to be in a precarious state. She flashed-stepped at the scene ready to assist the 4th division in carrying the patients when she stopped dead on her tracks. Right in front her was the 10th division captain being held up at his side by none other than the man who haunts her dreams.

Ichigo Kurosaki stared right back at her before carefully handing the unconscious captain to his girlfriend and the medical squad. He offered to carry him back to the 4th division but he was ignored by the shinigamis who are ready to transport the injured squad to their barracks. He instead turned his attention to the woman before him. Rukia has not moved a bit from her spot.

While everyone around them were frantically moving around, they both stood still.

They opened their mouth but no words came out. They simply looked at each other, taking in the fact that they can both sense each other's spiritual energy, something that they both have missed after a year of not seeing each other.

 _Almost, almost is never enough_

 _So close to being in love_

 _If I would have known that you wanted me_

 _The way I wanted you_

 _Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart_

 _But right here in each others arms_

 _And we almost, we almost knew what love was_

 _But almost is never enough_

The cool evening wind caressed their skin as they sat quietly beside each other on the ground, both shinigamis were silently taking in the magnificent sight before them. Blurs of yellow hue from the shoji lamps looked picturesque from their view. It was almost midnight and everyone was either home resting or making one last round of checking the area before heading home.

Releasing a soft sigh, Ichigo glanced at the woman beside him. The warmth her body was emitting gave him such comfort and relief that he almost did not notice another gust of cold wind pass by them. Turning his attention back to the sight before them, he smiled. It felt good to be home. Being in Soul Society always made him feel good, like he truly belonged somewhere.

"Feels like a century since I've been here," Ichigo said.

Rukia smiled in return, "You've been busy?"

Nodding, Ichigo stretched out his legs and leaned back on his arms. "Those college entrance exams were a pain in the ass," he chuckled.

It was almost comical seeing him study so diligently for months. He never told anyone but he wanted to take over their clinic in the future. In order to get into a good medical school, he had to step up his game and study hard.

"I think you can do it," Rukia said. Looking at her in surprise, he snickered, "Okay, whaddya want?"

Rolling her eyes in response, she insisted, "You're an idiot at times but you're not completely stupid."

Eyes wide, Ichigo shouted in protest, "Hey!"

"Plus, once you put your mind to something, you never really fail," Rukia added.

Snapping his mouth shut, he stared intently at her. Rukia was gazing at him with the same intensity that he found it difficult to look away. Not like he wanted to. She has the most beautiful and unique eyes he has ever seen.

Rukia broke away first. Clearing her throat, she recalled an incident that brought them closer together in the past, "Remember that time when you foolishly and recklessly barged in here to save me? You could've been killed not just by my brother but also by other high-ranked shinigamis and yet here we are."

Exhaling, she briefly closed her eyes before looking at the star-filled sky, "The moment I saw you stopping that huge bird from burning me alive, I never felt so relieved and angry at the same time. All I could think of was getting you out of there and return you to the human world even if I have to use the last shred of my reiatsu to do that."

Scoffing, Ichigo replied, "Tch, as if I'd let you do that. I'd save your sorry ass a thousand times more if I need to. No questions asked."

Fixing her eyes on him, she smiled softly, "Thank you."

After giving her a wide smile in return, he briefly scanned the area around them. Chuckling he pointed out, "Ironic how we're talking about this here."

They were sitting on top of the Sokyuko Hill where Rukia was almost executed. After treating him to a small dinner that night, Ichigo insisted on staying a little bit longer in Seireitei before going home. Not wanting to leave him alone, she decided to accompany him. Rukia was surprised when he lead them towards the large, rocky mesa.

Giggling, Rukia responded, "It is kind of ironic."

Suddenly, she felt a familiar warmth envelope her hand. She turned to see Ichigo holding it before pulling it up to his eye-level and examining a fresh cut in her finger.

"You're bleeding," he pointed out, his voice lowering considerably and a bit husky.

With a shaky breath, Rukia tried to pull away but he had iron grip on her wrist. She then saw Ichigo fish out a white roll of bandage from his pocket and gently wiped away the blood before wrapping it up.

"All done," he whispered.

Rukia felt her heart pound harder and faster against her ribcage. She swallowed. _This shouldn't be happening._

Reluctantly, she pulled away and cradled her injured hand close to her chest and murmured, "Thanks."

Feeling his heavy gaze on her, she abruptly stood up and stammered, "I-I... better get g-going. It's late and I-I'm still early for w-work tomorrow so... yeah."

She was about to shunpo but was stopped when Ichigo easily caught her wrist. Slowly, she looked back at him and waited.

The grip around her small wrist tightened before letting go. "Be careful on your way home," he muttered.

Rukia felt lightheaded all of a sudden. She needed to get home quick before she faints. Or cries. Nodding, she disappeared and flashed-stepped towards the 13th division.

 _Huh, huh baby_

 _You know, you know baby_

 _Almost, is never enough baby_

 _You know, hey_

 _And we can deny it as much as we want_

 _But in time our feelings will show_

 _Cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up_

 _The truth is, everyone knows_

Sighing deeply, Ichigo stood up and walked towards the edge of the hill. He looked at his hand that was still tingling from touching her soft skin. He roughly ran a hand through his wild hair and pursed his lips. How did things end up being so complicated?

He then caught a familiar reiatsu behind him. Not bothering to look at the newcomer, he simply greeted him, "Renji?"

Instead of replying, the red-head placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and took a step beside him.

"You're a bunch of pitiful fools," he chuckled bitterly.

Ichigo's eyes softened as he glanced at his hand before closing it into a fist. He looked at the sight before him and replied, "I'm the only pitiful one here."

The hand on his shoulder gave him a solid clench before letting go, "I have to disagree with Rukia. You're really stupid."

"Maybe I am."

 _Almost, almost is never enough (is never enough, baby)_

 _So close to being in love (so close)_

 _If I would have known that you wanted me_

 _The way I wanted you_

 _Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart_

 _But right here in each others arms_

 _And we almost, we almost knew what love was (baby)_

 _But almost is never enough_

Every once and while, Orihime would see her husband look out their bedroom window with a serious expression on his face. His amber eyes would gaze intently on the darkened sky, as if he was looking at something other than full moon.

She figured that maybe he was just missing the other world and was feeling a little homesick. When they visited together Urahara before, Yoruichi once mentioned that Ichigo would often drop by and ask for some news on Soul Society. Whether it was petty or not, Ichigo would appreciate any new piece of information he would receive from the pair. After several years of acting as a messenger for him, Yoruichi invited Ichigo to accompany her to Seireitei. However, he declined.

Orihime never really understood why he refused to go back to Soul Society when it was painfully obvious that he missed the place. Also lately, there haven't been any shinigami who patrols their area since hollows became a rare sight after Aizen's defeat. She knew her husband also missed seeing other shinigamis, especially his friends.

Stopping by Urahara's shop once again, he was greeted by Tessai who told him to wait for the shop owner in the living room. Instead, it was the Yoruichi who met with him, "Yo, Ichigo!"

Smiling widely, he nodded and greeted back, "Yoruichi. Anythin' new?"

She handed him a small white envelope in return. Slowly taking it, he asked, "What's this?"

Refusing to look at him, she replied, "Look inside. Anyway, I gotta go. Busy day 'ya know?"

Leaving the orange-haired male on his own, Ichigo warily opened the envelope and read its content. Pushing it back inside, he stood up and wordlessly walked out of the room before muttering a "thanks" to brooding tall man.

Watching the somber doctor leave the shop, the blond shopkeeper stopped fanning himself and lightly covered his mouth with his fan, "You gave it to him after all."

Crossing her arms, Yoruichi sighed, "He was bound to know sooner or later."

Giving her a quick look, he said, "Theirs is a tragic love story, isn't it?"

Closing her eyes in defeat, she replied, "What do we know? Maybe in their next life it will be them in the end."

 _Huh, huh baby (almost)_

 _You know, you know baby_

 _Almost, is never enough baby_

 _You know, hey_

* * *

Author's Note: Initially, this song was supposed to be dedicated to HitsuHina but after reading the ending of Bleach, I thought this would better fit IchiRuki. Hope you guys enjoy and please don't forget to check out my other one-shots in my profile! Thank you!


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